Taking Flight, Taking Names

7.25.19

Things are happening…

It’s been about a month since I’ve written here, and in that month a LOT has happened. But I guess I should start at the beginning of this whole crazy journey.

About 7 or 8 months ago, if you’d have asked me where I imagined myself, it most certainly would not have been here. I was feeling, for lack of a better word, stuck. I was okay with my job, I was okay with my relationships, but everything just felt uncertain, like if I stepped in the wrong place I’d end up sinking into a pit of quicksand. I was feeling unmotivated to do much of anything. I definitely wasn’t happy, not necessarily sad or depressed, but just… didn’t feel right or comfortable.

A Doomworld thread about me and my YouTube channel came to my attention, and after clearing up some things about the way I ran my channel, I became more involved in the community and eventually began to map seriously, taking spots in various community projects. A year ago today, I started the NDE project, and it became my way into various spots on Discord.

Fast forward a few months, and I became more involved in the Discord community, and while on holiday a week in January, everything shook loose. For a glorious week I became much more involved in The Hellforge, a Discord server run by Bridgeburner. I got to know many of the resident members there better, and in the following weeks many of these members became my closest friends.

I’ve been in residence in that server since February, and since then I’ve branched out and become involved in a lot of good projects, and more importantly, met people who have given me nothing but unwavering support and shown kindness that some days I still don’t feel I deserve.

As of recent, though, I’ve had to yet again take stock of my situation. My job has become unduly stressful, and while I knew going in that a promotion to a backup manager would mean more responsibility, it’s become entirely overwhelming and the lack of staff in my store has made things even harder. I’ve put in a few job applications for jobs in accounting, and today heard from one of them, and so will be making an appointment next week to meet with someone at that firm. My first “real” job! It’s quite exciting, but also very necessary. My mother will be retiring at the end of next month, and so I’ll need to have my own insurance. Yay America. And because she’s retiring, I definitely need to leave the nest. I love my mother dearly but I’d rather not spend all my time at home with her. Besides, I’m 24- it’s time I get my own place.

Another fun thing that’s happening- I’m getting a tattoo! It’ll be roughly based on the OTEX marble skull mural that’s in the foreground of the post header image. I’ve always wanted to get one, and this seems like the time to do it.

The NDE project is also picking up- I’ve been working hard at re-working the original map I’ve started, and the progress has felt good. It’s amazing how much a difference a year’s worth of mapping and learning will change the way you do things and view things. A huge thank-you to Bridgeburner especially for being such a patient teacher, and for lending his hand to the project, both as a mapper and an administrator.

All in all, I’m looking forward to the road in front of me. I know there will be times that will be hard, I’ll stumble, trip and fall, but I have the strength to get back up again, fortified by my friends. I’m eternally grateful for them- they’ve changed my life for the better and I just hope that I can do the same for them. I hope to travel outside the US someday- my world no longer feels restricted to the confines of the US borders.

I’ve been reading more as of late as well. A quote from Stephen King’s Firestarter to close:
“Life is short and pain is long and we were all put on this earth to help each other.”

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