This Delicate Dance
It’s been a month since my last post, and not much has changed, but things feel much different than they once did.
With the start of October, I decided to participate in NaNoWADMo, a mapping challenge that is set by each participating mapper. The idea is simple- create a goal for yourself, then reach that goal by the end of the month.
My goal is simple- create two new maps for Dancing in the Abyss.
I’ve started with MAP07, Tending the Flames, and I’ve quickly begun to realize that I am really, truly beginning to hit my stride as a mapper. It’s incredibly liberating to be mapping on my own terms, with my own set of assets, no right or wrong answers, just pure creative freedom to map my visions exactly how I intend to.
It seems ridiculous- I’ve been mapping for a little while now, you’d think I’d have gotten over all the angst of not feeling good enough, of worrying about being held back- or holding myself back.
But no more. I’m finally feeling comfortable in my own skin, and I really, truly couldn’t be happier with where I am right now. Well- not entirely true. I could have a better job, I could be with the people I care for the most on the other side of the oceans. But I feel more at home than I have in ages- not restless, not anxious. Everything will fall in place with time, so long as I keep trying my best to put the pieces in place, I will feel like I’ve given my all, lay my head to rest at night and feel at peace.
My Discord server has become a more generalized Doom server, as well as a place for Dancing in the Abyss updates. Feel free to join if you like!
To those of you who have given me such kindness and support, I thank each one of you. This journey would not be possible without you.